Apocalypse Edge

Apocalypse Edge is a CEman who was dealt the wrong cards, destined to live and die alone, destined since his conception. Instead of using his time to find a girl, he has made it his life goal to make sure every single person on Current Events has heard his woes. No sex, no kiss, not even a hug; No girl will ever touch him, except a woman called Depression, and she has touched him in all the wrong ways. He is also a welcher.